Confession Testimony

The Love of Christ

 

As a prodigal son, the thought of returning Home was riddled with fear. To have my deepest sins exposed – to reveal my weakness in a world consumed with pride and rationalization – was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

The devil – who was my #1 cheerleader on the road away from Jesus Christ and His Church – would now point the finger and accuse me: “There’s no point now! You’ve joined the world! Don’t you dare return, He won’t forgive you anyway.”

Jesus Christ – who up to this point seemed to burden me with rules and obligations that I desperately tried to avoid – as though the Cross were a roadblock that I must swerve around on my way into the secular world – would now wait in the confessional not as a judge, but as a true friend who so eagerly wanted to reunite.

I am certain that the one place on earth the devil fears the most is the confessional. The headache I had that morning was unlike any other – I could suddenly conjure up a whole list of reasons to delay the confession to yet another day. But, we all have certain moments in our lives where we need to man up! and take that first step.

To be honest, I was quite embarrassed with my first confession during my journey back into the Church. St. Josemaria Escriva warns of “the devil that ties your tongue.” Even during the confession, I wanted to rationalize my position – to justify my years of debauchery – to convince the Priest that I was a “good person.”

Although my first confession lacked the necessary examination of conscience beforehand – when the Priest ended the absolution with, “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” – those were the sweetest words I had ever heard.

During the following week, my mind was flooded with past incidents. The Light of Christ entered my soul and revealed all of my darkest moments. I can remember going into the confessional with two pages of notes – I had to repent – I did not want to add any more thorns to His crown.

Jesus Christ instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation for a specific reason. He is Our Father and wants nothing more than for us to come Home. The confessional is a place to pour out your heart, to feel the presence of Jesus Christ, and to rekindle that burning desire for Our Father’s Love.

Guilt, fear, rationalization, pride, you name it – the devil will provide you with every reason from his book of lies to prevent you from going to confession and experiencing the one thing he will never experience – the Love of Christ.

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